DREAMS of a CLOUD

Peruse the many random ramblings of a writer-in-training as I build stories and develop my craft.

Light and Shadow, 2023 Nathaniel Cloud Light and Shadow, 2023 Nathaniel Cloud

4 February 2023

“That’s part of what I’m afraid of. The fame, the recognition… Honestly, part of me loves all that. And I… I’m scared that means I’ll wind up like him.” Gwen drew her shoulders in closer and looked at the floor. “Sorry. I probably shouldn’t insult your husband right to your face, huh?”

Tavala chuckled and shook her head. “If anything, my status as his wife makes me all the more aware of his failings.” She looked off into the distance, pieces of old memories flickering to life in the back of her mind. “Besides, our marriage was one of political necessity. I doubt either of us felt we had much choice in the matter.”

I’m really glad I kept good notes on what little I’d figured out about this story. I don’t know much but it fascinates me more than I expected. I want to take some time at some point and hash it out more thoroughly…

I do not know what events Tavala (Tirian’s mother) is referring to yet. I know something big happened, but at this point, most of what I know comes from the context clues in this scene. I do kinda want to find out, though. Also, writing an outside perspective on Gwen is fun. Mostly just because of what she’s like. Hopefully I can nail her down and keep her consistent without being too stereotypical.

Tavala studied the girl. She stood ramrod straight, her face strained from maintaining her poor attempt at a neutral expression. On anyone else Tavala had met light side, it would have been fear hidden behind the mask; this girl, however, had an energetic mix of curiosity and guilt, as if she were somehow responsible for Sennan’s infidelity.

A whisp of a smile passed over Tavala’s lips. “You can relax, child. Please, sit. No need for formality with me, especially after what you have done for my son.”

Gwen heaved a dramatic sigh of relief, only for her cheeks to turn pink at the last part of Tavala’s comment. “So, you heard about that, huh? Did Tirian mention it?”

Tavala raised an eyebrow. “Even had he not, I am not so removed from society that news of such scale does not reach me. The two of you have become quite the celebrities.”

“Hehe, yeah. Like brother, like sister, I guess?” Despite her words, Gwen shrank into herself, her face burning red. “Honestly it all kind of scares me.”

“Oh? In what way?”

“It’s just… All the lights, all the people. I grew up always hiding part of who I am, trying to stay safe, stay unnoticed. And now… I walk down the street, and mothers are asking me to touch their babies. As if that will bless them or something.”

For a long moment, Tavala just watched Gwen. The girl could not stay still; her hands were always moving, fiddling with something. After what could have been an uncomfortably long silence, Tavala said, “That can be hard. But you will grow used to it in time.”

“That’s part of what I’m afraid of. The fame, the recognition… Honestly, part of me loves all that. And I… I’m scared that means I’ll wind up like him.” Gwen drew her shoulders in closer and looked at the floor. “Sorry. I probably shouldn’t insult your husband right to your face, huh?”

Tavala chuckled and shook her head. “If anything, my status as his wife makes me all the more aware of his failings.” She looked off into the distance, pieces of old memories flickering to life in the back of her mind. “Besides, our marriage was one of political necessity. I doubt either of us felt we had much choice in the matter.”

Gwen chewed on that for a while, staying silent for longer than Tavala would have thought she was capable of. “Why did you marry him, in the end? My father.”

Tavala sighed, and let the bits and pieces grow until the memories returned in full. “Tensions were high. Their fear made some among your people reckless, prone to violence. And my own people fear your ways; the lies, the scramble for power. The desire to control. The marriage let your people believe, however falsely, that they had some measure of control over mine, while my own people could still look to me as a shield, and a source of protection from the lightbearers’ schemes.” She sighed and shot Gwen an apologetic look. “Though, based on recent events, it seems this marriage is no longer effective on eitherr count.”

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