DREAMS of a CLOUD
Peruse the many random ramblings of a writer-in-training as I build stories and develop my craft.
30 September 2023
“Fortunately, you arrived before my shield could shatter, and none of the oni who fled have returned.” She bowed to Hanako. “Thank you. It is because of your actions that Nanmoku is safe.”
When Hanako woke up, she found herself in a lavish bedroom. The blankets covering her were of the highest quality, including silken sheets, and she’d been changed into a comfortable white kimono.
She sat up carefully and winced. Even with her unusually high regeneration, burn scars crawled up both her arms, and she had to push off a mild headache.
“The doctor informed me you are quite lucky to be alive; the burns alone would have debilitated most people, red oni or not.” A tall, full-figured woman stepped out from a corner of the room. Nine fluffy golden tails waved behind her, matching her long golden hair. Hanako realized this must be the woman who had helped her from the wall.
Hanako took a few deep breaths to center herself, then looked up at the woman. “How long have I been out? And how is the village? Was anyone hurt?”
The woman shook her head. “Fortunately, you arrived before my shield could shatter, and none of the oni who fled have returned.” She bowed to Hanako. “Thank you. It is because of your actions that Nanmoku is safe.”
With a nod, Hanako leaned back into her pillows. Then her eyebrows scrunched together. “What about their prisoners? They… took people from Tsurui. Are any of them…?”
The kitsune grimaced and looked away. “We’ve… done what we can. They’re still alive–the ones we found, at least–but even the ones without visible scars will not heal quickly from something like that.”
Hanako grimaced but nodded. She stared at the kitsune for a moment or two, then forced herself to sit back up and offer her hand. “My name’s Hanako.”
A smile appeared on the kitsune’s face as she accepted. “Mikuzume. It’s a pleasure.”
13 April 2023
Hanako knelt before the shrine and offered a prayer. “Please, let me protect them this time. Help me keep the town safe.”
When she stood, she noticed a miko she’d somehow missed on the way in standing a ways away. She was two to three inches taller than Hanako, and her warm brown hair was tied in a long braid down her back. Their eyes met, and the miko took a step toward Hanako. “Ah, pardon me. Is this your first time here? I don’t think I recognize you.”
“No, I’m new in town,” Hanako replied, with a shake of her head. She offered her hand. “My name’s Hanako.”
The miko clasped Hanako’s hand with both of hers. “Welcome! It’s a pleasure to meet you. You can call me Mikuzume.”
I decided to go ahead and move the encounter with Mikuzune to Nanmoku, and tried to figure out ways for Keiko and the other villagers to show support. Honestly, this whole bit feels pretty rough, still. I kinda want to expand on the two builders, let them become characters in their own right, but I’m not sure what they could contribute. If I do, I’d likely expand the trip a bit to include some of the banter or discussions they have enroute.
Really, this felt like a very gardener-style chapter, even more than usual, referring to the different ways authors craft stories (pulled from Brandon Sanderson in one of his online lectures, I think). I was going to have them all go straight to Nanmoku, but then imagining her discussion with the elder, and considering her personality some more, she really would go scope things out first. No idea what happens there, either; kind of want to know what I want her to be dealing with at the end of the arc before I start trying to foreshadow it.
Keiko met Hanako on her way out of town, along with two of the men from the construction crews, Daiki and Fumito. “You’re headed to Nanmoku, right?” she said, before Hanako could even ask what was going on. “Take these two with you. I can’t spare anyone else, not with winter coming, but if you get there early enough to make some preparations, these two will be able to help the town set up defenses.”
Hanako’s eyes widened a bit. She hadn’t thought of that. She nodded, and the trio headed out to warn Nanmoku.
The trip was mostly uneventful; it was only two to three days from where the Chizu residents were trying to rebuild. About half a day outside of Nanmoku, Hanako separated from the two workers.
“Warn them about what’s coming,” she said. “I’m going to try to scout around and pinpoint exactly where this yokai army is at.”
[Insert first encounters/glimpses of yokai army and return trip here]
Nanmoku was bigger than Hanako had expected. Nicer, too; the whole place had a clean feeling, despite the number of people that must live here.
The town’s most notable feature, though, had to be the shrine at the top of the mountain. Hanako herself wasn’t particularly religious; she would occasionally make offerings to her ancestors, including Master, but that was about it. Still, something about the place drew her.
The shrine itself was clearly well-cared for. It was swept clean, and everything seemed bright and freshly painted. Hanako entered and slowly made her way to the shrine itself. Awed by the general atmosphere of the place, she knelt before it and offered a prayer. “Please, let me protect them this time. Help me keep the town safe.”
When she stood, she noticed a miko she’d somehow missed on the way in standing a ways away. She was two to three inches taller than Hanako, and her warm brown hair was tied in a long braid down her back. Their eyes met, and the miko took a step toward Hanako. “Ah, pardon me. Is this your first time here? I don’t think I recognize you.”
“No, I’m new in town,” Hanako replied, with a shake of her head. She offered her hand. “My name’s Hanako.”
The miko clasped Hanako’s hand with both of hers. “Welcome! It’s a pleasure to meet you. You can call me Mikuzume.”
Hanako found a smile slipping onto her face. She asked, “By chance, could you tell me where I could find the village elder? I have some important news to give him.”
Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)
4 April 2023
Chiaki’s gaze pierced into Hanako. “You’ll kill them, right? The shogun. His men.”
Hanako’s blood froze. She’d never considered it before. Take on the shogun himself? “I… I don’t know that I can.”
Chiaki blinked, then slowly turned back toward the wall. Before she closed off completely, though, Hanako added, “But I will do everything I can to stop him. These raids… the way he treats people… it’s not okay. ”
Chiaki turned back to face her. Hanako smiled awkwardly. “But… I definitely can’t do that alone. Will you help me?”
I wrote this at about 11:30 last night. I couldn’t sleep, and I’d wanted to get back to writing anyway, so here we are. It’s been long enough that I barely remember any of what I was doing with any of my plot threads, but I love Hanako, and I’d wanted her to help Chiaki somehow. Then, while I was writing it, this moment wound up so much more important than I would have expected. This feels like the moment where Hanako commits to take the fight to the shogun. Though she still does have to get through the Yokai army first…
Some of you may be familiar enough with Japanese legends and mythology to recognize the name Mikuzume. That’s intentional, though it’s not the exact same entity. One of my major sources for yokai legends and facts is at Yokai.com, for anyone who’s interested.
Hanako stood outside the tent door for half a moment. “Chiaki? Mind if I come in?”
When no answer came, Hanako tentatively opened the flap and stepped inside. Chiaki was curled up on her cot, facing the tent wall. The space was small enough that Hanako could smell Chiaki; the girl hadn’t had the energy to bathe, it seemed.
What could Hanako say in a situation like this? What could she do? She almost reached out and placed a hand on Chiaki’s shoulder, but eventually let it fall. Hanako’s own guilt devoured her. Eventually, all she could do was sit on the floor, back against the cot. In a voice so soft it was barely audible, she whispered, “I’m sorry.”
The cot shifted behind her. To Hanako’s surprise, Chiaki spoke. “Why? Why did it have to be us?”
Hanako bit her lip. Was Chiaki talking about her? Or the shogun’s men? “I don’t know.”
“I just… I can’t stop thinking about it. That day. When they came to the inn, and later with the torches. I… I hate them!”
Hanako turned to face Chiaki. The girl’s expression had twisted into a grim mask of rage and grief. Chiaki’s gaze pierced into Hanako. “You’ll kill them, right? The shogun. His men.”
Hanako’s blood froze. She’d never considered it before. Take on the shogun himself? “I… I don’t know that I can.”
Chiaki blinked, then slowly turned back toward the wall. Before she closed off completely, though, Hanako added, “But I will do everything I can to stop him. These raids… the way he treats people… it’s not okay. ”
Chiaki turned back to face her. Hanako smiled awkwardly. “But… I definitely can’t do that alone. Will you help me?”
For several seconds, Chiaki didn’t respond. Hanako started to worry she’d broken something important in the girl. Then a shy smile broke out on Chiaki’s face. “Ok.”
A huge grin of relief split Hanako’s face. “Thanks. You might want tot start by getting cleaned up; you don’t exactly smell like roses right now.”
Chiaki blushed, and Hanako left the tent. She was greeted by a beautiful woman in her early thirties. A nurse? “That was quite the bold statement. Did you mean what you said?”
Right. Tent walls. Probably not the best when it comes to soundproofing. Hanako nodded and said, “It’s… going to be hard. Maybe impossible. But I want to try.” She was actually a little surprised at how invested in this she felt. It wasn’t a bad feeling, though. “I’m Hanako.”
The nurse tipped her head. “You can call me Mikuzume.”
Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)