11 October 2022
We finally meet the other half of the “blue oni, red oni” duo. That said, Suzune at this point hadn’t quite finished baking if you will. I knew she existed, but not details. In particular, here, I forgot how old she was supposed to be, and focused on how much epic potential she had. That… would have caused a lot of problems. I also play with how redeemable the captain was going to be; unfortunately, perhaps as a side effect of making Suzune more sympathetic, he winds up a lot less sympathetic in the final version.
As a result, I actually rewrote this scene two other times, on the 12th and 14th. Just trying things out, figuring out what fit, and using this scene to try to learn who Suzune really was. I’m fairly satisfied with the result, though.
General Suzune, head of the Dragon’s Battalion and the adoptive daughter of the shogun, looked down at Captain Takamoto, who bowed before her. “And a single oni forced your entire squadron to retreat?”
“Yes, General. But she fights like no other oni we’ve encountered; rather than an enraged beast, she was a master swordswoman. Please do not underestimate her, despite our weakness.”
“I see.” She resisted the urge to smile; perhaps here, finally, she’d find a worthy foe. She stood, and all eyes turned toward her. Her cobalt blue skin naturally drew attention, and her six foot frame only increased the impact of her presence, along with the black horns on either side of her forehead.
“And the town was allied with this oni swordswoman?” she confirmed.
“Both the village elder and the girl herself denied it, but I can think of no other reason for her to exert so much effort in its defense,” the captain replied.
Suzune nodded and looked to the other officers in the room. Many dropped their eyes, but a few worthy of respect met her gaze. She declared, “To ally with the enemy is to declare one’s self to be an enemy of the shogun. Is that agreed?”
Not a one of the officers dared do anything but nod. Suzune continued, “And therefore, as an enemy, it is our duty to make an example of them.” She pointed to the map. “The greatest threat is this oni swordswoman. So to draw her out, we will send our main force directly here, through the forest.” She gestured to Takamoto. “Meanwhile, you and your squadron, along with fifty other men of my choosing, will come in from here and attack the village. I hope you take this chance to redeem yourselves.”
The officers saluted, thumping their chest with their fists, and slowly filed out. Once they had, though, Captain Takamoto remained.
Suzune raised an eyebrow. “Was there something else, Captain?”
He hesitated, then said, “I suppose I just wondered what makes us different from the youkai.”
Current Draft of Hanako’s story (including unposted content)