DREAMS of a CLOUD

Peruse the many random ramblings of a writer-in-training as I build stories and develop my craft.

Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud

3 June 2024 part 1

As Isaac opened his mouth to reply, Phillip held up a hand to stop him. “And one other thing. Say you’re right. Say we convince her, and she come back to Lowenveil City with us. What then?”

Isaac looked up at his friend in shock, so Phillip continued, “Did you forget? She’s only got a few weeks before bam! She keels over dead. Any guesses how she feels about that?”

I felt quite accomplished with how much I got written here. Still not 100% satisfied; I think I hit too many of the arguments, was a bit too thorough with Phillip dressing down Isaac. That doesn’t quite feel right. I might need to identify the most important points and keep it to those. Or I might be overthinking it; I do have a tendency to do that. Also, I still worried I’m making Isaac too much of an entitled brat. I’ve tried to pull back some, but… it’s not working great. Could be a lot worse, of course, but… Well, I might have to wait and see how his arc shapes up.

…And what were you expecting? Some ephemeral, yearning princess hoping for a chance at freedom? This isn’t some bard’s tale, Isaac.”

That stung more than Isaac would have expected. Had he really based his entire image of his sister on stories? But then again, what else did he have to go off of? “She’s not really anything like me. Or Mom or Dad, for that matter.”

“Your sister spent her whole life stuck in a magical tower, with only a mad fairy to keep her company. It’s kind of amazing she can talk with us at all, isn’t it?”

Isaac scowled. “Then why doesn’t she want to come with us!? I mean, it still has to be better than that musty old tower, right?”

“Is it, though? The Tower seemed to provide her almost anything she needed.” As Isaac opened his mouth to reply, Phillip held up a hand to stop him. “And one other thing. Say you’re right. Say we convince her, and she come back to Lowenveil City with us. What then?”

That’s when it really sunk in. Isaac had wanted someone to replace him; an heir to the throne. Aurora… couldn’t do that. “I’m stuck as the crown prince either way.”

“That’s not the worst of it, actually.” Isaac looked up at his friend in shock, so Phillip continued, “Did you forget? She’s only got a few weeks before she turns sixteen. So she’d have just enough time to connect to people, for them to get attached, and then bam! She keels over dead. Any guesses how she feels about that idea?”

“But… Surely there’s something… I mean, we have Maleficent…”

“The same Maleficent that’s always hounding you about the dangers of magic?” That shut Isaac up. Phillip smiled wryly. “Though, to be fair, I started with that, too. Even asked the princess about it.” He gestured to the Tower. “But, well. All magic has a cost, right? Care to guess what the cost for a life is?”

Isaac’s face turned ashen. Once he’d taken a few deep breaths, he said, “Well, crap. What can we do?”

Phillip shrugged. “When I asked, she seemed fine with us coming back tomorrow, at least. Gothel doesn’t come back until the day after.”

“Even though she just kicked me out?”

“Yeah. Just… Maybe be a bit more chill? She doesn’t seem used to people, and you can be… a lot.” He grinned. “If it helps, she’s really into the King Arthur books.”

Isaac blinked. “Really? Huh. Where does she get them?”

“No idea. Maybe the fairy picks them up on her trips outside? Or maybe it’s weird tower magic.”

The conversation wound down from there, and eventually the two boys went to bed. It took several hours before Isaac actually managed to sleep, though, with all the thoughts chasing around his head.

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Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud

1 June 2024

“Was… was that really Princess Aurora?”

For the longest moment, Phillip stared at him, unimpressed. “She looks more like your mom than you do, Isaac.”

I got quite a bit of planning done this day, but by the time I was writing, I was already falling asleep. Fortunately, starting the week after, I am coming in an hour later, since training is done, and that should help me be a bit more rested.

Isaac was still in a daze when Phillip came down a few minutes later. The large boy helped him up. “C’mon. Let’s set up camp for the night, at least.”

It wasn’t long before they had a makeshift tent set up and a couple of squirrels roasting over a fire at the edge of the clearing. While they waited, Isaac finally spoke. “Was… was that really Princess Aurora?”

For the longest moment, Phillip stared at him, unimpressed. “She looks more like your mom than you do, Isaac.”

“I mean, sure, but…” What was he even trying to say? “She’s… not what I was expecting.”

Phillip raised an eyebrow. “And what was that?”

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Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud

14 May 2024

“Oh, wow! Did you paint that? That’s Percival, right?

Instantly, Rapuzel’s expression brightened. “You read the King Arthur books?” When Phillip nodded, she pressed, “How far have you gotten?”

“I’m all caught up, even with the latest book [author]’s released. You?”

Reworking the last bit of the previous post, and then continuing from there with Rapunzel’s perspective. Yes, the Arthurian legends are a novel series in this universe; no, I haven’t nailed down which form of “cannon” is the “cannon” of the fictional series. Nor am I likely to stress too much about it.

…”You’re coming with us, aren’t you? I mean, we finally found you.”

Rapunzel squeaked and started to shake her head, but Isaac either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “It’ll be great. Mom and Maleficent will have someone new to fuss over, and you’ll get to finally be with your family. You can learn to be a proper princess, and since you're the oldest, you can take over the kingdom while I discover new things and build foreign connections. Doesn’t that sound grand?”

It was only then Isaac noticed the panic on Rapunzel’s face. She sucked in a deep breath and shook her head. “N-no, it does not. Th-thank you.” Even as Isaac opened his mouth to protest, she turned her back on him. “I think you should go, now.” She snapped her fingers, and suddenly there was no floor under Isaac’s feet. He fell onto a long, winding ramp that never seemed to end, Finally, it dumped him…

Rapunzel took a few moments to catch her breath. When she turned around, though, her face turned bright scarlet.

Phillip stood their, shuffling awkwardly, a strange expression on his face. “Erm. I, uh… Sorry about him. Isaac can be… He’s a bit of a dumbass sometimes.” He scratched his cheek, then asked, “Just checking, but, he’s okay, right?”

Rapunzel curled her shoulders in and nodded. “J-just… He’s just outside.”

With a nod, Phillip scratched the back of his neck and took another look around the room. “Oh, wow! Did you paint that? That’s Percival, right?

Instantly, Rapuzel’s expression brightened. “You read the King Arthur books?” When Phillip nodded, she pressed, “How far have you gotten?”

“I’m all caught up, even with the latest book [author]’s released. You?”

“The old lady just appeared in court and told Percival off for being too polite.” Rapunzel grimaced. “I… don’t actually know how far behind I am. Is that the latest one?”

“They just released the next one after that a month or so ago; it ends at a bit of a cliffhanger, but I love it. The dynamic between Perce, Gawain, and Bors is amazing.”

For a moment, Rapunzel let herself get excited, but then a stray thought occurred to her. If the latest one only came out a month ago, she’d likely never get a chance to see who [author] resolved the latest cliffhanger. She’d barely have time to read the newest book, honestly. Tears started flowing down her cheeks, which sent Phillip into a panic.

“He,:” Rapunzel finally asked. “He d-does know I’m go, going to die soon, right? The p-prince, I mean.”

It took quite a while for Phillip to respond. “I think, for us, we’re still processing the fact that you’re real, not just a story told to keep us in line and away from magic. What that means, for us or for you… I don’t think that’s hit yet. At least for me. And Isaac… well, he’s a bit tunnel-visioned at the best of times. Even if he knows, I don’t think it’s hit him yet.”

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Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud

7 May 2024

Isaac could only stare at the girl leading them onward.

This was Aurora? Really? This cowardly, frail slip of a girl was supposed to be his long-lost sister?

I worry that I’m making Isaac too judgmental. He is supposed to be flawed, but I need to balance that; not sure. Probably relies on the rest of the narrative before I’ll know for sure—if that’s even something you CAN ever know for sure.

Next to Isaac, Phillip gawked at the Tower, and the way its hallways stretched well beyond the space it should have had. Isaac couldn’t muster the excitement. Even in the most magical place on the grandest adventure he’d likely ever get to go on. Isaac could only stare at the girl leading them onward.

This was Aurora? Really? This cowardly, frail slip of a girl was supposed to be his long-lost sister?

Over and over, Isaac tried to deny it, tried to find some other possible explanation. But each new theory was more outlandish than the last, and the more he thought about it, the more his dreams of adventure seemed to fall apart around him.

After around fifteen minutes, Aurora–rather, Rapunzel–led them to what at first seemed like a dead end. Then she knocked on the wall, and it opened to reveal one of the finest paint studios he’d laid eyes on.

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Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud

6 May 2024

“Sorry about all that. We’re looking for my sister, Aurora. Do you know where she is?”

Rapunzel’s face turned red as she realized she messed up. Or had she? He mouth opened and closed a few times as she tried to figure out what she should do.

While her mind spun, the two boys waited a moment before Phillip shrugged and opened the door. They were already out in the hallway before Rapunzel finally called out, eyes closed, “I-it’s me!”

This encounter is a hard one to get pinned down. I’ve been struggling with planning it out for a while. Part of that is I want to show Rapunzel’s social anxiety in a way that is both accurate and respectful —not sure if I succeeded there or not—but it’s also hard to get the balance of Rapunzel’s and Isaac’s dynamic right. Having Phillip around helps; he’s steady enough on his feet he can balance things out. But he’s also not the focus, so I can’t really overmuch on that.

That’s referring to the next few days of posts; this scene has been my focus for most of this week.

It took an eternity for the prince to climb up the window, and still, he arrived far too quickly for Rapunzel’s peace of mind. He extended a hand. “Hi, I’m Isaac. Are you Aurora?”

Even that was enough to send Rapunzel into a panic. What was she supposed to say? Would he get upset if she didn’t follow courtly etiquette? Was their a special way princesses were supposed to accept handshakes? Would it be better if the prince never found out who she was?

By the time Rapunzel had tentatively accepted the handshake, Isaac’s face was beginning to cramp. So as soon as they’d shook once, Rapunzel pulled back into a corner and tried to breathe.

A moment later, the other boy, who was quite solidly built, crawled in from the window. He took one look at the situation and said, “Oi. It’s not even been a minute and you’ve terrified the poor girl.”

Eyes wide, Rapunzel fervently shook her head. “N-no. I… I’m just, not used to people.”

Isaac frowned and glared at the other boy, but he just ignored the prince. “Huh. Well, pleasure to meet you. I’m Phillip.”

“R, Rapunzel.”

At that, Isaac’s face really did fall. He took a deep breath and put on what Rapunzel assumed was a disarming smile. “Sorry about all that. We’re looking for my sister, Aurora. Do you know where she is?”

Rapunzel’s face turned red as she realized she messed up. Or had she? He mouth opened and closed a few times as she tried to figure out if it would be better to tell them who she was, knowing she’d die soon, or if it would be better if they just never found her.

While her mind spun, the two boys waited a moment before Phillip shrugged and opened the door. They were already out in the hallway before Rapunzel finally called out, eyes closed,, “I-it’s me!”

The two looked back. Isaac asked, “It’s you? What do you…”

“It’s, it’s me. I’m Aurora.” Rapunzel shrank into herself. “B-but please. Please just call me Rapunzel.”

For a long, long moment, no one said anything. Finally, Phillip asked, “Well. Seems like we’ve got a lot to talk about. Do you have a private room or a table where we could sit and be a bit more comfortable?”

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26 April 2024

“Why couldn’t Maleficent find her? She’s not really mortal anymore, is she?”

Lena scowled at the mention of Venwald’s queen, but Frieda chuckled darkly. “Had it been anyone else she faced, the Fairy Killer would have noticed. How long did she wander these woods, searching for something she can never find, I wonder?”

It was only a few days later when Isaac, Phillip, and the two fairies entered the Lost Wood. Isaac immediately hated the place; it made the back of his neck itch, and all the trees felt like they pressed in on him, leaving him trapped.

Maybe half an hour in, Lena stopped to stare at something Isaac couldn’t see. “Ooh, that is clever. I suppose she really was royalty once.”

Isaac blinked. “Huh? What’s going on?”

“Oh, I’m talking about Gothel, youngling. The reason any of you get lost here is Gothel has taken some of the reality away from these woods. Not a great deal, but you mortals aren’t designed to perceive the ‘between’ places, and so you get lost instead, forget things. It’s really quite ingenuous.”

For a moment, Isaac chewed on that. “Why couldn’t Maleficent notice that? She’s not really mortal anymore, is she?”

Lena scowled at the mention of Venwald’s queen, but Frieda chuckled darkly. “Had it been anyone else she faced, the Fairy Killer would have noticed. How long did she wander these woods, searching for something she can never find, I wonder?”

That only left Isaac more confused, but neither Lena nor Frieda would say anything more on the subject. Not that they paid much attention to Isaac and Phillip in general.

Several hours of silence later, and the group stumbled on a clearing with a tall tower, looking far better kept than something this isolated should be.

“Well, here we are,” Frieda announced. “And what luck! It seems poor Gothel isn’t even here at present. You truly have fortune on your side, princeling.”

“Don’t forget what you owe us, boy,” Lena added. “We’ll even go distract our dear friend for a bit. WOuldn’t want you to die before your debts are paid. Ta-ta!”

Isaac’s eyes widened. “Wait!”

But they didn’t. One moment they were there, the next, they were gone.

Isaac and Phillip looked on in disbelief, then turned back to the tower. “Think she’s actually in there?”

“Has to be. They wouldn’t have risked losing the deal otherwise.”

The two boys approached, trying to find a door or something. But even after circling the thing twice, the only entrance they could find was a single window thirty or so feet up.

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Rapunzel, Poems, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, Poems, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud

5 April 2024

Ne’er have I regretted a promise more

And decades since last I shed a tear

Yet I will respect thy wish

Breath for breath, and life for life.

This is quiet a long one; there is a surprisingly large amount to cover with this section of my poem-outline. It’s fun, though!

Temper thy expectations,

Dearest friend of mine.

We know not her wishes

Nor what she may’ve endured.

Wise though thy words,

I cannot my heart restrain.

E’en to see her mor than I once hoped

Look; anon and we arrive.

My queen, all hail. Safe trip, I pray?

Though, alas, it was not so for us.

The prince’s sight is… changed, to say

And the princess will not leave her  room.

Changed, you say?

Did he fall to fairy’s curse?

‘Tis best if I tend to him,

While you thy daughter greet.

Agreed. Then I shall go.

A knock, rejection, but–

I am neither prince nor Phillip.

May I enter?

Panic, shock

Already she stands at my door!?

Long have I longed and dreaded this meeting

But… A smidge of courage, I open the door.

I… I am sorry I’m not more

Not a princess, not bold, not brave

Just… me.

I… I never even tried to leave.

Her words like chimes blow past

None settle. Instead,

She is in my arms, at last.

And there we stay, in silence.

~~~~~

The prince before me, changed indeed.

Mortals were not meant for fairy sight

Only one other I know of, but such is luck

That one is me, and I can guide you.

Well enough, and thank thee, truly.

But what e’en is the point?

All is worthless, ash and dust.

All… all that is… ‘cept thee?

Indeed, even when Death takes me

Never shall I age or rot.

But that is of no import.

Come, there is much work to do.

~~~~~

A wond’rous, glorious week

‘Tis not so bad a way to go

Though regrets remain, I will not lament

My time is up, it seems

The princess collapsed,

And fades so fast!

O great Queen of sorceries,

Is there aught thou canst do?

There is. Indeed, long planned.

But I do not like it.

My friend, my queen, dearest Hannah,

Are you sure this is thy wish?

Never have I been more sure.

Aurora has not even had

An honest chance to live.

Can I, as mother,

Prize my life above my child’s?

Mother, what meanest thou?

What plan have you concocted?

A quiet dread fills my chest

Surely, you cannot mean…?

Dearest Isaac, know I love you,

And I’m proud of who you are.

Whate’er happens, we’ll watch o’er you.

Maleficent, ‘tis time.

Ne’er have I regretted a promise more

And decades since last I shed a tear

Yet I will respect thy wish

Breath for breath, and life for life.

W-what?

I am… awake?

Is this Heaven?

But no, there is the prince, and Phillip, and…

No.

No no no.

Please tell me she did not!

What worth have I, a timid girl,

That a queen would yield her life for me?!

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Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud

13 February 2024

In the same moment, both women shifted. Instead of a frail wisp of a girl, Frieda was now a full-bodied, statuesque woman, even a bit taller than Phillip. Lena was still short, roughly around Isaac’s height, but instead of an old lady she now had youthful even elfin features, with dark hair pulled back in a long braid.

Isaac tried to protest, only to discover he couldn’t make any sound. He could breath just fine, but his voice was just…gone.

And here is where we finally get to see Lena and Frieda step into their own as terrifying fey creatures. I really dragged my heels on this one…

Isaac shrugged. “I might surprise you. My older sister was kidnapped by a fairy right after she was born, and because of that, they made a point to teach me all sorts of things about magic and how it works.”

Both women froze, and Deifra’s tea cup slipped from her hands to shatter on the floor. Alne asked, “Your… sister, you said?”

That’s when it clicked. The shack that was sturdier than it looked. The colors of their dresses. Their names. “You’re those fairies, aren’t you? Lena and Frieda.” Isaac couldn’t keep himself from grinning.

It seemed that was a mistake, though, as Deifra–Frieda–reached out into the air and pulled, like she was tugging on a string. Something yanked itself out of Isaac; he couldn’t see it, but he could feel it as it left.

In the same moment, both women shifted. Instead of a frail wisp of a girl, Frieda was now a full-bodied, statuesque woman, even a bit taller than Phillip. Lena was still short, roughly around Isaac’s height, but instead of an old lady she now had youthful even elfin features, with dark hair pulled back in a long braid.

Isaac tried to protest, only to discover he couldn’t make any sound. He could breath just fine, but his voice was just…gone.

“I could not risk that you might have some way to summon the Fairy Killer here. So, what is it you want, boy?”

Isaac’s expression soured, and he tapped his throat. In response, Lena passed him a sheet of paper and a quill. Once he accepted it, he paused. It didn’t exactly seem like the best idea to tell them he’d only shown up out of curiosity. Then he got an idea, and began to write.

“Could you help us find Aurora? We think Gothel took her to the Lost Wood, but anyone who enters winds up losing all sense of direction for months. Maleficent has tried to help, but she can’t perceive Gothel or anything related to her, so that hasn’t worked.”

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Rapunzel, Poems, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, Poems, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud

6 February 2024

Phillip, what cruelty is this?

The treasure, though found, is but dross

My eyes now see nothing but bones

And she, for sure, no princess can be

Hello! ‘Tis Phillip,

Though now much at a loss.

Two wayward children follow at my heels

Who, though royalty, need constant minding

Rooms we require to stay the night

Dear princess, can thou tend to that?

I’ll watch the prince and the horses

And a pigeon send to our queen

M-me?

In there?

No task could be more terrifying!

Ah… he left ere I spoke.

I yet lack the courage to decline…

One step by step,

To the dreaded counter I tread

T-, two rooms for us, please?

Eh? What meanest thou, where is my coin?

None on my person, and even had I,

Which coin is worth what?

At such a loss; what should I do?

E’en this simple thing goes awry…

Phillip, what cruelty is this?

The treasure, though found, is but dross

My eyes now see nothing but bones

And she, for sure, no princess can be

Spoke she ever otherwise?

Oft did they warn thee, thy mother and her friend,

Of the dangers of magic, now felt.

Is it a shock they spoke true?

Still, I’ll help where I can.

Already the pigeon alights

Both queens ere long should arrive

Inside, what a mess,

Worse than I had supposed.

Dear princess, thy best was enough

But I have aplenty. Good sir, three silver a room?

Embarrassment, regret

Why thought I not to go ask?

What place have I in a world such as this?

Just allow me to hide away here.

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Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud

5 February 2024

Everything clicked together. Green and pink dresses, a shack out in the boonies… Even their names. Isaac couldn’t help but smile widely. “Right, I never introduced myself. Prince of Lowenveil at your service; my godmother is queen of Venwald. You might know her as Maleficent.”

…into the building.

The smell wasn’t any better inside than out; something foul bubbled in a cauldron in the kitchen. Every shelf was filled with the strangest ingredients Isaac had ever seen, from eyeballs to salamanders to things he couldn’t even identify. The living room was equally cluttered; knick-knacks of all shapes and sizes covered every available surface.

Alne led them upstairs to a dimly lit room, where a frail girl about the boys’ age sat quietly behind a table. She wore an almost ethereal pink dress, like the wisps of a cloud at sunset, and her eyes had been hidden behind a blindfold. Alne said, “Deifra, dearie, you have customers. A couple of fine young men.”

Deifra nodded and reached out toward a crystal ball on the shelf. Once Alne had passed it to her Deifra asked, “What… kind of fortune did you want told?” Her voice was quiet, and felt almost cultivated to reinforce the idea she might fade away at any moment.

Isaac smiled at her. “Actually, I’m mostly curious about how it all works. What lets you tell people’s fortunes? What kinds of things can you see? How do you interpret them?”

“Dangerous… questions,” Deifra replied. “The spirits… won’t like it.”

“Besides,” Alne cut in, “it’s all terribly confusing. Even I got lost trying to make sense of it. Best leave it to Deifra.”

Isaac shrugged. “I might surprise you. I know quite a bit about magic and fate and all that; my godmother made a point to teach me, since a fairy kidnapped my older sister not long after she was born.”

There was a crash as the crystal ball slipped from Deifra’s fingers. Alne looked no less shaken as she asked, “And who, who did you say your godmother was?”

Everything clicked together. Green and pink dresses, a shack out in the boonies… Even their names. Isaac couldn’t help but smile widely. “Right, I never introduced myself. Prince of Lowenveil at your service; my godmother is queen of Venwald. You might know her as Maleficent.”

With a speed that belied her aged appearance, Alne bolted for the door. Unfortunately for her, that’s where Phillip had been hovering since they came in, and he was able to block the entryway.

“You don’t need to be so scared of me, Alne. Or would you rather I call you Lena? I’m not here to arrest you or hand you over to my godmother.”

Lena froze and looked back at Deifra. Deifra–or Frieda–shifted, and where there had been a frail girl, there was now an ageless, statuesque woman. “There’s no sense in keeping up the charade. Let’s see what the boy wants, Lena.”

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3 February 2024

“I wanted to understand how it works. How do you determine people’s fortunes? What kinds of things do you see? How do you interpret that?”

Alne’s smile grew strained. “These secrets come with great dangers, and for those not well-versed in the mystic arts, I doubt it would even be comprehensible.”

This wasn’t a very good attempt. It did help me gather my ideas, though, so when I went back to it a couple days later, I was able to come up with something much more coherent. I still hadn’t started treating Lena and Frieda seriously yet, though.

…into the building.

Everything in the house was either green or pink. From the walls to the knickknacks covering every surface, from the cabinets to the floorboards. On top of that, the place was so cluttered Isaac and Phillip had to be careful where they put their feet.

Alne led them to a small room upstairs, where a frail wisp of a girl wearing a blindfold sat at a table, sipping from a porcelain cup. She wore a pink dress that was quite ragged at the hem. “Deifra, dearie, we have guests. A pair of fine young men.”

Deifra turned to face her and nodded. Alne invited the boys to sit down, before she took a seat herself behind a large crystal ball. “Now, tell old Alne what sort of fortune you’re looking for.”

“Actually,” Isaac replied, “I wanted to understand how it works. How do you determine people’s fortunes? What kinds of things do you see? How do you interpret that?”

Alne’s smile grew strained. “These secrets come with great dangers, and for those not well-versed in the mystic arts, I doubt it would even be comprehensible.”

“Good thing I am well-versed,” Isaac said. “Ever since a fairy kidnapped my sister, over fifteen years ago, my family’s made a point to study this sort of thing.”

Deifra’s cup fell out of her hands and shattered, and Alne froze in place. “I-is that so? But even still, I can’t just–”

It all clicked together. The pink, the green. Even their names. “You’re the fairies that were there, aren’t you? Lena and Frieda.” He gestured to Alne and Deifra respectively, a massive grin on his face.

This could be perfect. If these two could help him get through the Lost Wood… Not only would he be lauded a hero, but his sister could take over the kingdom. He’d be free to go on all the adventures he wanted.

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1 February 2024

It took another hour or so to reach the shack in the center of the swamp. A rickety old sign teetered at the edge of the island, with the words, “Fortunes and Potions! No Refunds.”

“Isn’t your godmother a witch? Isn’t this, like, child’s play compared to the things she can do?”

Isaac shrugged. “Maybe? But Maleficent’s even worse than Mom is when I get near magic. I think she blames herself for what happened with my sister.”

It took another hour or so to reach the shack in the center of the swamp. A rickety old sign teetered at the edge of the island, with the words, “Fortunes and Potions! No Refunds.” The shack looked dilapidated at first glance, but closer inspection revealed it was actually quite sturdy, and just designed to look bleak.

With a grin far too wide for the dreary atmosphere, Isaac said, “Well, let’s check it out!” He marched right up to the door and pounded on the door, with Phillip only a couple steps behind him.

A scratchy female voice called out, “Just a minute!” A short time later, the lock clicked and the door opened a crack, revealing a hunched, beady-eyed woman even shorter than Isaac. She wore a fraying green dress over her stooped frame. “Yes? What can Alne and Deifra do for you?”

Alne and Deifra… Something about the names tickled the back of Isaac’s mind, but he put it aside. “Hi! I heard you do fortunes?”

“Yes, yes! Come in, come in!” The old woman led them into the building…

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31 January 2024

“That seems like a terrible idea.”

“Worse than leaving me in charge?”

For a long moment, Phillip didn’t reply. “Lowenveil’s doomed, isn’t it?”

Isaac’s grinned widened, while he did his best to ignore the little prick he felt at Phillip’s comment.

This is one of the results of the outline; I got a firmer bead on Isaac’s characterization, and so started rewriting his scene to fit better. It still took some effort to get right, though; I’ve been trying to pin Lena and Frieda down as comic relief characters for a long time, and… well, if I want the fae to be threatening, they really can’t be. But that’s for later.

“Why did I let you talk me into this?”

Prince Isaac looked back at his friend, a tall, stocky boy with brown hair. Phillip was knee-deep in much, and based on his expression, the smell of the swamp didn’t particularly appeal to him, either. Isaac smirked at him from the log he stood on. “Because you find standing guard outside my door just as boring as I find my lessons?”

“That still had to be better than this.” Phillip stepped into a particularly deep area and cursed.

Isaac shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. It’s not that bad.”

Phillip glared up at him, and finally found a dryer patch of ground to wade to. “You know your mom’s going to be pissed at us when we get back, right?”

“I’ll just tell her I was trying to find my sister. It’s even sort of true.”

Phillip just raised an eyebrow.

“What? It’s true! I’d love to find a way to bring her back. Then she can be crown princess, and I’d be free to see the world and go on adventures and such.”

“That seems like a terrible idea.”

“Worse than leaving me in charge?”

For a long moment, Phillip didn’t reply. “Lowenveil’s doomed, isn’t it?”

Isaac’s grinned widened, while he did his best to ignore the little prick he felt at Phillip’s comment. 

“It’s all kind of moot anyway,” Phillip added. “Unless we find some kind of fae magic of our own, we’ll never be able to get through the Lost Woods anyway. Which reminds me… What were we after out here, again?”

“Rumor has it there’s a couple of strange women out here pretending to be witches. Thought it might be worth checking out.”

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Rapunzel, Poems, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, Poems, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud

30 January 2024

Come one, come all,

And see the blessed babe

Aurora, our light,

Our hope and delight.

This was a lot of fun! I struggle with coming up with outlines for my stories, and particularly putting said outlines to paper. I’m not sure why; it just seems boring to me, I guess? So I had a thought. What if I made it a more creative project? So I started writing my outline as a poem. It’s not a particularly amazing poem, but it is fun to write, and has helped me decide how the story goes. I have two other Rapunzel poems continuing where this one left off as of this writing (April 24). I really enjoyed the formatting to convey the different POVs, though I’m not sure how will the second poem will translate.

Come one, come all,

And see the blessed babe

Aurora, our light,

Our hope and delight.

Fae gifts touch her

Good health, and grace, and more

What cost have these?

‘Tis secret, hidden so none may see

But one, late come

Maleficent, queen

Fae’s foe, pronounced the woe

Gifted the sweetling child

For Gothel, nightmare again

Traumas cloud all thought

The child she takes

Spirited away from the kinslayer’s grasp

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down crimson hair

Cooped in the Tower, trapped not with bands

But fear of what lays beyond

Fear begets fear, and so she stays

Cautious, quiet, mostly content

Only wandering through paints and in dreams

“Tis glorious adventure seek we this day!

Is it not so, dear Phillip?

Perhaps more grueling than glorious,

But so it is. What mischief make we today?

Why, two fairies over yon,

Would make quite the excellent catch

And with debts to claim

Perhaps a princess, my sister, at last

Through forest and fog

Evading the kidnapper most foul

To a grand Tower’s base

And yet, where lies the door leading in?

Eh? People? Outside?

And worse, family, to boot

What can be done? What should be done?

Can hiding avail me aught?

No, still here, still striving

Why seek they one such as I?

My doom is near, already at the doorstep

Yet still… To speak for a bit should suffice?

She is not who I’d dreamed

This sister of mine

All the adventures I’d yearned, and more,

All shadows and reflections and gone

Too timid by half, and no thanks

Still, her choices are hers, not mine

If here she will stay, ne’er to travel,

I’ll visit so often, at the least

What is this scent?

A human, a boy

Intruders in my abode?

A thief in the night

Or that woman’s spy

He’ll not take her from me!

Spare him his life

But instead, steal his sight

See, child, the mercies I show?

Rage

Despair

The only kin I’ve known

Mercy? What mercy?

I was never yours

Though ne’er I planned to leave

Then as you took, take I in turn

Your sight I’ll trade for his

And if you think I’m yours to keep,

Perhaps it best I leave you

My home…

What have I done?

That… who was that?

Not the Rapunzel I raised

The power, the fury, the magic within…

Like her. It was her, again.

Maleficent.

Blind

Lost

Confused

Whate’er did I do wrong?

A touch of fingers

A gift of sight

But no less lost than before

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Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud

27 January 2024

“Excuse me! Sorry to bother you, but is your name Aurora?”

Rather than reply, Rapunzel pulled her head back and slammed the window shut, before she curled into a ball in a corner of the room. Aurora. That was her real name, right? Which means that boy was probably…

“My brother!?” Rapunzel squeaked.

Rapunzel had only been in the library an hour or so when the Tower notified her that someone was outside. It was very odd; had Mother forgotten something?

It was not Mother she found, though, when she poked her head out the window of the receiving room. Instead, it was a couple of boys; one was blonde and fairly short, while the other was tall and quite stocky, with sandy brown hair. The blonde one called up, “Excuse me! Sorry to bother you, but is your name Aurora?”

Rather than reply, Rapunzel pulled her head back and slammed the window shut, before she curled into a ball in a corner of the room. Aurora. That was her real name, right? Which means that boy was probably…

“My brother!?” Rapunzel squeaked. She looked back up at the window and realized she’d basically just slammed the door on a prince, even if he was a relative.

It took another ten to fifteen minutes to work up the courage to crack the window back open and peek outside. Just then, a metal hook struck the wall near the window. It was connected to a rope, leading down to the bigger boy, where the blonde boy encouraged him.

Mustering all her determination, she (sort of) shouted, “Please don’t throw things at the Tower! You might damage something!”

The two boys paused and looked at each other. The prince called back, “What did you say?”

Rapunzel repeated herself, at least a smidgeon louder, but the two boys just turned to each other and shrugged. She didn’t know what to do. They couldn’t hear her. She could step outside, but that was… scary. Not to mention the mess her hair would cause. On the other hand, if Rapunzel let them in, that would upset Mother, right? 

But what if they left before Mother came back? That could could even be her excuse to make them leave if they tried to stay too long. Right? Rapunzel could do that.

Nodding to herself, Rapunzel flipped the lever to let her hair down. The boys looked up in surprise, but the prince quickly started to climb up, with the other not far behind. Unfortunately for Rapunzel, they were already halfway up before she realized she’d have to actually talk to them. For a whole conversation. It was a small miracle she hadn’t started hyperventilating by the time they made it inside.

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Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud

24 January 2024 part 1

“And why… *oof*. Why would they ever agree to help us?”

Isaac’s eyes narrowed. “They owe my family a debt.”

Tried to work on Rapunzel, then changed to a different story so I could feel less frustrated.

Phillip paused. “Like, the other fairies who were there the day your sister was taken?”

“Yep.”

“They’re not the ones who took her, though, right?”

Isaac shrugged. “We’ve known where Gothel is at for a few years now. The problem is, we can’t get there; she’s got some magic that keeps people from getting close. So I figured, why not counteract it with fae magic of our own?”

Phillip’s foot pulled free of his boot, causing him to curse. “And why… *oof*. Why would they ever agree to help us?”

Isaac’s eyes narrowed. “They owe my family a debt.”

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Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2024 Nathaniel Cloud

23 January 2024

Isaac lifted an eyebrow and smirked at his friend. “Didn’t I tell you? There’s been reports of a pair of witches around here. What kind of prince would I be if I let my people suffer such things?”

“No, I get that part.” Phillip grunted as he jerked one foot free. “What I mean is, why are we here?

“Remind me. Why are we here again?”

Isaac lifted an eyebrow and smirked at his friend. Phillip was currently knee-deep in muck, and the odor of the swamp didn’t help improve his mood. “Didn’t I tell you? There’s been reports of a pair of witches around here. What kind of prince would I be if I let my people suffer such things?”

“No, I get that part.” Phillip grunted as he jerked one foot free. “What I mean is, why are we here? Don’t you have an army specifically to take care of stuff like this?”

Isaac hopped over to another dry patch of ground. “Why? Don’t think we can take care of it?”

Phillip responded with a flat look. “Isaac, we’re fourteen. What, exactly, do you intend to do if there really is a witch?”

For a very long moment, Isaac didn’t respond. “Did you know? This report was very strange. A large number of otherwise credible people have encountered these ‘witches’, with all sorts of strange, almost unbelievable stories. A bald man started getting his hair back, only for a number of local pets to start losing patches of fur. A family spends one year nearly destitute after a visit, only to get a double crop the year after that.”

Phillip squelched another step forward. “Yeah, okay. And?”

“The strange part is, no one can agree on what they look like. Youn, old, frail, stocky… There is only one detail that never changes. One of the witches is closely associated with green, and the other with pink.”

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Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

30 November 2022

Hannah nodded. “And that’s why. I want to make as many special memories together with Aurora as I can before we’re separated. Not many people are lucky enough to get advance notice on when their time will run out, after all.” She turned to Rapunzel. “Of course, that’s only if you’re okay with it, Aurora. It is your birthday, after all.”

Rapunzel blinked. She’d never thought about it that way before. She still didn’t think she’d consider herself lucky, but it did make her feel more positive about the circumstances. “Yeah… Yeah. I like that idea.”

Here it is; the end of Nanowrimo. I wrote a more extensive on my thoughts reflecting on the month as a whole Dec 1, the day after, so I will not put too much here. It’s pretty short; I was struggling with motivation, a bit, and this rounded out the scene fairly nicely, at least for where the draft is at now.

Sorry about the delay in posting; I was feeling sick yesterday, and did not accomplish much of anything. Including writing, unfortunately. I’ll be posting the regularly scheduled post for Dec 1 at 9:30 like normal.

The day before Rapunzel’s birthday at breakfast, Hannah made a declaration. “We should make an extra effort to celebrate Aurora’s birthday tomorrow.”

The others at the table, sans Maleficent and Frederick, stared at her in shock. It was Phillip who broke the silence. “Um, but… Isn’t that the day she’s going to die, Your Majesty?”

Hannah nodded. “And that’s why. I want to make as many special memories together with Aurora as I can before we’re separated. Not many people are lucky enough to get advance notice on when their time will run out, after all.” She turned to Rapunzel. “Of course, that’s only if you’re okay with it, Aurora. It is your birthday, after all.”

Rapunzel blinked. She’d never thought about it that way before. She still didn’t think she’d consider herself lucky, but it did make her feel more positive about the circumstances. “Yeah… Yeah. I like that idea.”

So they did. The innkeeper and his wife baked and decorated a massive, lavish cake. While it was baking, Rapunzel set up a small chess tournament, which got far more noisy than chess had any right to be (mostly courtesy of Phillip). They even managed to con Maleficent into participating, which turned out to be the best thing ever for Rapunzel. They met in the finals, and that was the funnest, and toughest, game Rapunzel had ever played; even though she lost, she felt like she learned a ton just from watching Maleficent.

After the cake, Rapunzel tried to teach Hannah and Phillip how to paint, and it wasn’t long before it devolved into an all out paint war. They absolutely splattered the guest room of the inn they were using, and it wasn’t long before Frederick had the three of them down in front of the innkeeper to apologize. For his part, the innkeeper seemed more put out about getting the apology than the paint-splattered room.

Throughout it all, though, Isaac always wore the same sullen expression. He never smiled, and only participated the bare minimum. Not once did he meet Rapunzel’s eyes; in fact, when she tried to corner him to ask him what was up, he slipped away and vanished. Part of her wanted to think he didn’t want to admit she was dying that evening, and that they’d gotten too close in the last few weeks, just like she’d been afraid of. Something told her this was something else, however, and it bothered her she couldn’t figure it out.

When her parents presented her with a pet puppy that afternoon, though, everything clicked into place. She held the puppy ip to stare into its eyes, as a way to avoid looking at either of her parents. “Hey, Mom? Dad?”

They tensed; after the way Rapunzel lit up when she talked about taking care of the animals at the Tower, this wasn’t the reaction they were expecting. “What is it, sweetie?” Hannah asked.

“Generally, a pet is something you give to someone who can take care of it, right? So why are you giving her to me if I’m going to be dead within the next 24 hours?”

Hannah and Frederick exchanged glances with each other, then glanced over at Maleficent. Frederick scratched the back of his head. “Actually, Aurora, we’ve been thinking. And with Maleficent’s help, we’ve come up with a plan.”

<-Rapunzel Previous

Most recently updated draft of Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty (potentially including unposted content)

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Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

24 November 2022

For a while, Isaac couldn’t find the words. “It’s like… I thought it’d be different, you know? I’ve searched for her for years. My whole life, in a way. I thought it’d be so amazing when we found her, and everyone would be happy, and… Instead, Mom and Dad are all but dead. My eyes are going to drive me insane, and technically, I should’ve been blind. And Aurora… Rapunzel…” He snorted. “Well, whatever I was expecting from my sister, she is not it.”

With a total of 2765 words, Thanksgiving was actually my most productive day this year for Nanowrimo. I was surprised, because my family had a fair amount going on that day, too. Not only that, but it took two hours or more to plan out the first half of the dragon fight with Gothel, during which time I got no words in, since it was all in the planning stage. Overall, I was quite pleased with myself after this.

I’ll probably add more specific notes to the sections below.

Rapunzel couldn’t believe her ears. “Wait… You’d still let me go?”

Isaac shrugged. “You’re as stubborn as I am. If you decide you’re going, you’ll go whether I let you or not. I just want to make sure you’re okay if you do.”

Rapunzel slumped back into the bed. She hadn’t expected that. She took a deep breath and winced, holding her side. Finally, she said, “It’d probably be a good idea to spend a few days, maybe even a week, for me to recover anyways. After that, if your - our - parents aren’t here yet, we can decide what to do then.”

Isaac heaved a sigh of relief. “Sounds like a plan.” He stood up. “I’ll let you rest, then. Do you want me to get you anything?”

Rapunzel’s stomach growled. “Breakfast would be nice. Or… whatever meal it would be right now, I guess.”

Isaac smiled wryly. “I’ll see what I can do.”


(After Phillip and Aurora have attracted the dragon, but before any dragon fights have started)

When Phillip returned a week later - and without Rapunzel, at that - Isaac was more than ready to tear into him. But the worry and urgency in Phillip’s expression made him pause.

Even before he’d fully dismounted, Phillip started trying to explain. “You’ve got… got to get everyone… out of here. Dragon… there’s a dragon coming.”

Isaac exchanged looks with Maleficent. “Dragon? Why? Where’s Rapunzel?”

Phillip put a hand on the wall to brace himself. He took a deep breath. “I think the dragon’s that fairy. Gothel?” At that name, Maleficent’s eyes narrowed, but she let Phillip continue. “She was hunting Aurora, so she used herself as bait and told me to come warn everyone.”

Isaac’s fists clenched. Logically, he knew they’d probably made the right call. But he still wanted to deck his friend for leaving his sister behind to face down a dragon alone. He looked over at Maleficent. “With your magic, would you e able to prepare any defenses? I want to keep the townsfolk safe while they’re evacuating, and, well…” He glanced over at the inn where his parents were located.

“I have a few things I can do about that.” Maleficent turned and got to work, though Isaac couldn’t be sure what she was planning.

Then he called General Conners over. “What do you suggest? I was thinking we should have half the men begin evacuating the citizens, and once they finish, have them set up within the village itself. I could join the other half outside the walls, to try and hold the dragon off as long as we could until the people are safe. We’d need ballistae for both sides.”

Conners saluted him and said, “My only concern, Your Majesty, is that it seems like you’re placing yourself too much at risk. We’ve already as good as lost the king and queen; what will happen to Lowenveil if you fall, too?”

Isaac grimaced. Then he shook his head. “I have to do this, General. For myself, if nothing else, and I think it’s important to show the people that I’m not afraid to stand with them when things get difficult.”

Conners looked like she had thoughts on the subject, but she kept them to herself. “Yes, sire!” She began shouting instructions, divvying up the soldiers into the two camps.

Isaac looked out toward the tower. If Rapunzel did come back, and she’d better, would she want to get involved in the fight, too? If Gothel was after her, Isaac wanted to make sure rapunzel was as far away from her as possible. Somewhere safe.

What if Rapunzel and Maleficent worked together? They were both witches, right? Isaac nodded to himself. That should work.

He watched with baited breath for any sign of his sister. He was so nervous, he almost didn’t react when a great wall of thorns sprouted up and surrounded the village, leaving only an opening at the gate.

Aurora didn’t recognize the village. Her father’s army had amassed outside of it, and somehow a great wall off thorns fifteen feet high had grown up all around it. Maleficent’s doing? Did she have a gift for growing plants?

She spotted Isaac and raced toward him. She could feel Gothel closing in on her, but Isaac gave a signal and a barrage of ballista bolts flew over Aurora’s head and impacted against the dragon.

Aurora pulled up next to Isaac. “I’m pretty sure that’s Gothel.” 

“I can see that.” He did seem to be looking at something specific within the dragon. A quirk of having Gothel’s eyesight, perhaps. “Maleficent’s taking care of our defenses; would you go help her?”

Aurora nodded, and walked through the gates in the hedge into the village. On her way, though, she got thinking. Would she get a better chance than this? Maleficent was busy, and no one else was around that would interfere.

She clutched her satchel, and headed for the inn. To her surprise, a second layer of thorns had wrapped themselves tightly around the building, even crawling up and covering the windows. She forced her way inside, only to find Maleficent…


It actually took me a long time to figure out what was going on with Aurora while she was trapped in time, or in the other dimension, or however you want to put it. At this point, all I knew for sure was that it ended with her speaking with the Tower. Then, I had an epiphany. If this happened because she messed with fate, isn’t it like she pulled herself out of alignment with fate? And since fate in this case means the things that happen to you, rather than what you will choose to do yourself (to distinguish between destiny), it means she can’t be affected by anything, but nor can she affect anything else.

…to get back?

She carefully walked past Maleficent and headed upstairs to the room they were keeping her parents. When she reached to open the door, however, her hand passed right through it, like nothing was there.

Aurora shuddered. Then she closed her eyes, braced herself, and stepped through the door.

There they were, asleep. Now, with time frozen, Aurora didn’t even have the rise and fall of their chests to confirm they were still alive. She steeled herself, and reached out to grab their threads of fate. Only… there was nothing to grab. Nothing at all.

Desperately, Aurora rushed over and tried to place her fingers on Hannah’s pulse, forgetting for a second that time had stopped. Only, it wasn’t even that Hannah had no pulse; when Aurora reached for her, her hand passed right through.

That’s when everything clicked for Aurora. She’d accidentally removed herself from fate; nothing could affect her, but she couldn’t affect anything else, either.

Dully, Aurora wandered around the village. She wasn’t sure how long she was at it; it was hard to tell time when nothing around you changed. It could have been fifteen minutes. It felt like days.

She mostly spent time in the room with her parents, though she often visited Isaac out on the battlefield, too. Aurora actually wished she had her paint supplies; she’d actually caught him at a good moment, and he looked quite kingly as he shouted something to his troops. She’d even found the perfect angle, where his outstretched arm framed dragon-Gothel as another round of bolts streaked toward her.

Eventually, though, she decided to go a little farther. She made her way back to the Tower, and was delighted to learn she didn’t get tired. Or hungry. Or randomly collapse because she’d pushed herself too hard. Soon, she started off running, and the feeling was so amazing she could almost forget how screwed she was.

Once she arrived, however, that all vanished. Because there was no more Tower. All that was left was half a wall, no taller than Aurora herself was, and a field of stone and rubble where Gothel, as a dragon, had burst out of it.


(First half of the fight with the dragon)

Isaac confirmed Aurora had made it inside, and then stared at the dragon. The dragon turned her head right and left, sniffing at the air; Isaac thought she seemed confused.

Then the dragon turned to Isaac and her nostrils flared. She roared and rushed toward him.

“Pikes!” Conners yelled, and the two squadrons of pikes, fifty strong each, charged forward from either side and halted her advance. Gothel swiped the claw of her left wing at them, but they managed to divert the attack.

From along the wall, the archers on either side of the gate fired a volley of arrows at the dragon. However, to Isaac’s chagrin, they all bounced off her scales. Isaac had seen those arrows punch through the finest steel armor; what the heck was her hide made out of?

The cavalry on either flank circled around, so they could charge in when an opportunity arose. Meanwhile, Isaac and his guards headed to the right, behind the second squad of pikemen.

Gothel tracked Isaac’s presence, flaring her nostrils now and then. Suddenly she lunged through the squad of pikemen to snap at him, and Isaac barely danced his horse far enough to the side to avoid her. He swung his sword at her face, but much like the archers before him, he was unable to pierce her hide.

“Have the archers retreat to the village!” he shouted, and Conners rushed to carry out his orders. Beside Isaac, the half of the second squadron of pikemen that had neither lost their weapon nor been critically injured split to either side of the dragon’s head and tried to spear her eyes; however, Gothel jerked her head up, beyond the reach of their pikes. The first squadron circled behind her to try to pin her down.

The four squadrons of spearmen repositioned, ready to rush in with their shields of need be. Behind them, two of the ballistae fired; one missed, but the one on the opposite side of the dragon from Isaac glanced a hit on her head, knocking her back a step.

Gothel roared and snapped her head the direction of the ballista, and Isaac saw threads of flame gathering in the back of her throat. His face turned white, and he screamed, “Fire! Get out of the way!”

The ballista crew got the message and barely managed to get away before a stream of flame turned the ballista to ashes. The squadron of spearmen between Gothel and the ballista, however, weren’t so lucky. They got their shields up in time, but many of the men at the front of their formation screamed as the shields in their hands superheated and burned the skin off their arms. A couple even fainted from the heat.

Isaac grimaced, and pulled back with the pikemen from the second squadron. That gave the first cavalry unit room to charge through, and drive their lances into Gothel’s flank. While none of them could pierce her, they were able to knock her off balance. This time, as well, Isaac finally noticed the streams of blue magic swirling under the dragons scales, and the way they focused wherever Gothel was getting attacked.

With a roar, Gothel swiped with her tail. While the cavalry had already cleared past her, the tail did smash into the other squadron of pikemen, and three or four of them flew into the air a ways.

Isaac scowled and ordered, “All pikemen, retreat! Spearmen and cavalry, cover them!”

Gothel cocked her head and turned back toward him. She roared, and Isaac caught a whiff of peppermint mixed with smoke and charcoal. She beat her wings, and the winds knocked him off his horse. He barely rolled out of the way before the claws on her right wing slammed down where he’d fallen.

Two more ballista bolts rocked into her, diverting her attention away from Isaac. She glared up at the one closest to her, and once again sucked in and prepared to spew flames.

“Here it comes again!” Isaac yelled. But before Gothel released it, the second cavalry unit charged in and drove her head up, and the flames blew harmlessly into the sky.

As they passed by, however, they got too close to Gothel’s tail, and with a single swipe she knocked a dozen horsemen off their horses.

A quick glance confirmed that most of the pikemen had finished retreating, other than those that couldn’t move. “Everybody, pull back!” Isaac called. “Behind the hedge!”

The cavalry rode off, and the spearmen locked shields and backed as quickly as they could toward the village gates. Isaac took one last look around, at all the dead and injured they had to leave behind, and cursed under his breath. Then he ran for the gate with everyone else.


This scene takes place just after Hannah and Frederick have sacrificed themselves. I was dissatisfied with the attention I’d given their grieving up to that point, and wanted to expand on it. The next two scenes are actually the bits I was most proud of today. I felt very happy with them.

Phillip knocked on Isaac’s door. When no one answered, Phillip cracked it and poked his head in.

The room was completely dark. No candles, and the shutters were closed, not that it mattered this time of night. Isaac himself sat on the bed, slouched over so his elbows rested on his knees, staring down at nothing.

“Yo! Still living?”

Isaac started. “Oh, it’s just you, Phillip.”

“Who else would I be?”

Isaac shrugged and returned to staring at the floor.

“What the heck are you doing all alone in the dark, anyway?”

Isaac clenched his eyes shut. “Ever since Aurora gave me that fairy’s sight, everything is… weird. I see things. Too many things. And none of it makes sense.” He flopped backward onto the bed. “Even without that, nothing makes sense.”

Phillip plopped onto the bed opposite him. “Wanna talk about it?”

For a while, Isaac couldn’t find the words. “It’s like… I thought it’d be different, you know? I’ve searched for her for years. My whole life, in a way. I thought it’d be so amazing when we found her, and everyone would be happy, and… Instead, Mom and Dad are all but dead. My eyes are going to drive me insane, and technically, I should’ve been blind. And Aurora… Rapunzel…” He snorted. “Well, whatever I was expecting from my sister, she is not it.”

He sat up and really looked at Phillip for the first time. “It’s like, the moment we found her, my whole life fell apart. Does that make sense?”

Phillip shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, I get that. Things kinda suck.” He leaned back. “Still, though, if things suck this bad for you, how much worse to they gotta be for her?”

Isaac’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Well, think about it. You lost two parents, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t she just lose three? Maybe four, if you count the Tower. Heck, she blinded Gothel herself, and that was for your sake. It’s not like she wanted us to find her, either. You still have your home, your friends, everything else in life. What does she have?”

That hurt. Isaac didn’t want to admit it. He knew Phillip had a point, but didn’t he have a right to grieve, too?

Phillip let the silence rest for several minutes, then lay down to go to sleep. “It doesn’t gotta be right away. But sometime soon, you oughtta talk to her. You’re all the family either of you has left right now.”

Isaac didn’t get much sleep that night.

Aurora was heading outside when Isaac caught her. “Hey, I think we should talk.”

Now? Aurora sighed. She took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”

They headed out to a little meadow not far from town. Aurora watched Isaac and tried to figure out what this was about. He kept fiddling with his hands, or pacing back and forth.

Finally got fed up. “Is this about what happened with Mom and Dad?”

Isaac blanched, then nodded. “I’m just… still trying to process everything.”

Aurora nodded. They waited a moment longer, then Isaac sat down and looked at his hands clasped in front of him. “A lot has happened since we met. You blinded the mother you grew up with. I see things that make no sense. Our parents are so deeply asleep, they might as well be dead. I guess…” He sighed and looked up at Aurora. “I wondered how you were holding up.”

Aurora rubbed her arms. “I… I don’t know.” She looked at Isaac. “I was supposed to be dead right now. I’ve lived most of my life coming to terms with that. And now… that’s gone.” She laughed bitterly. “I’ve screwed everything up, haven’t I? It’s like I told you. It would’ve been better just to leave me in my Tower.”

For a very long time, Isaac didn’t answer. It struck Aurora that he might actually agree. She’d screwed up his life just as badly as she had her own, after all.

Eventually, he sighed. “Rapunzel–”

Aurora flinched, and he paused. When he didn’t continue right away, she asked, “Actually… Would you call me Aurora from now on? I know what I said before, but…”

Isaac’s eyes widened, but his expression softened into a smile. “Yeah, I can do that.”

After a moment, Aurora spoke again. “Sorry. About getting so… angsty, I guess? I just… I feel lost.”

Isaac scooched around and hugged her shoulders. “Well, you’re stuck with me, now. Like it or not, you’re kind of the only family I have left.”

Aurora chuckled and poked him in the side. “You don’t suppose they offer exchanges on little brothers somewhere, do they?”

They both laughed at that, and just enjoyed each other’s company in the afternoon sunlight.

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Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud Rapunzel, 2022, Nanowrimo 2022 Nathaniel Cloud

23 November 2022

Once the dragon faded away and only Gothel remained, that’s when it really struck Aurora that this was real, it was really her.

Aurora walked over and pulled the sword out of Gothel’s back, then turned her body over so she could at least face the sky. Aurora’s heart churned. This was the woman she’d called “mother” for all those years. And she’d helped kill her.

Looking back over my notes, it seems this was right before I let myself relax about my old goal of 40k words, and made a new, more achievable goal to finish my draft before Nanowrimo ended. That helped things flow a lot better. This was also the day I realized I’d filled things in enough that I had to start making lists of what scenes or transitions I needed to write.

With the whole scenario around Aurora collapsing, I’m worried people will think I’m siding with Isaac, because he was “right” and Aurora did collapse. I don’t, necessarily. I think he kind of mishandled the situation; Aurora would have been much more amenable to the idea of staying put if he hadn’t approached it the way he had. This doesn’t excuse Aurora, either, of course. They’re both kind of dumb with this. But in a believable, “I can’t really blame them” kind of way. that said, I might make better use of the inherent time crunch of Aurora’s impending death to motivate her to at least see the castle once.

Then a wall slammed up into the dragon’s lower jaw from underneath, directing her attack away from Isaac and Phillip and providing them a shield. Aurora slid in from behind it and stopped beside Isaac. “I’m sorry, but nothing I’m trying seems to be working! She’s blocking my magic somehow!”

“Don’t worry, you’re helping plenty. Try to time your next attack just before the ballistae fire at her!” 

Aurora nodded, then moved away and tried to divert Gothel’s attention off of Isaac and Phillip. Isaac took the chance to look over his friend; he’d want a doctor to take a look just to be safe, but it seemed to be nothing more than a nasty concussion and a few broken ribs. At the very least, Phillip was still breathing.

Isaac heaved a sigh of relief and turned around just as a trio of ballista bolts dug into the dragon’s flank. The dragon screamed and swiped at Aurora in front of her, but Aurora diverted the attack with the Tower’s walls.

The blue humanoid core that was Gothel’s main self began backing away from Aurora, moving through the dragon’s body to somewhere closer to Isaac. Isaac quietly drew his sword and snuck closer, and when he got a chance, he drove his sword between the dragon’s scales directly into Gothel’s core self.

There was a momentary pause, and then the dragon began to writhe as blue smoke poured out from all its wounds. Isaac barely avoided the thing’s tail as it slammed the ground and buildings nearby.

Over the next ten to fifteen seconds, the form of the dragon shrank and faded away, leaving only a dark haired woman with Isaac’s sword in her back.

Isaac collapsed backwards and sat down next to Phillip, and just stared up at the sky. He couldn’t help the silly grin that spread over his face. They’d survived.

Once the dragon faded away and only Gothel remained, that’s when it really struck Aurora that this was real, it was really her.

Aurora walked over and pulled the sword out of Gothel’s back, then turned her body over so she could at least face the sky. Aurora’s heart churned. This was the woman she’d called “mother” for all those years. And she’d killed her.

Sure, Isaac was the one to actually do it. And at the time, Gothel was actively trying to kill Aurora, herself. But Aurora couldn’t help feeling guilty, and also that she’d just lost something very special to her.

She wasn’t sure if tears were mixed with the raindrops on her face. She wasn’t sure if Gothel deserved them if they were. Regardless, she wiped her face clean. “Whatever afterlife fairies might go to, if there even is one, I hope you’re at peace.” She closed Gothel’s eyes, then shifted so she held her knees tight against her chest.

Isaac watched her, and after a few moments passed, he asked, “What’s on your mind?”

Aurora shrugged. “I guess it feels like I’m a bad luck charm. Or worse. At least when it comes to parents. Frederick and Hannah are in a deep coma, and might never wake up. The Tower was ripped apart when Gothel came to chase after me. And as for Gothel herself, well…” She gestured to the corpse next to her. “It kind of makes you wonder, doesn’t it?”


(After escaping the Tower, as Gothel is turning into a dragon, in the version where they don’t see it happen)

The trip back was relatively uneventful. They spent most of the journey chatting about random thigs, especially the King Arthur novel series. Phillip recommended a few other novels as well, which Aurora intended to read once they got back home.

Aurora and Phillip could almost see the castle walls when a large shadow passed overhead. They looked up, and their eyes nearly bugged out when they saw the deep blue dragon soaring above them. “What the heck is it now?” Phillip said.

Then it landed a few hundred feet from them and began to swing its head left and right, sniffing at the air. When she looked more closely, Aurora realized that its eyes were milky white, and a horrible conclusion occurred to her. “Gothel?

As soon as she spoke, the dragon’s head fixated on her. Only a moment later, Aurora and Phillip urged their horses to rush to the side, just before a blast of fire tore through the space they’d just been standing in.

“You run ahead and warn the city,” Aurora yelled. “Tell Isaac; he can summon the army and evacuate people or something!”

“What about you?” Phillip shouted back.

“I’ll keep her distracted,” Aurora replied. “It’s me she wants anyway!”

Phillip looked like he’d just bitten something extraordinarily bitter, but he nodded and wheeled his horse around. “If you die, Isaac and Maleficent are both gonna kill me. So don’t die!”

“Don’t plan on it!”

And with that, Phillip rode off.

The next hour or so felt like an eternity. Aurora pulled every trick she could think of to dodge, distract, and outrun the dragon-Gothel. Eventually, she decided her luck was running thin, and she made a break for the northern gates of the capital.

(After Aurora has left the Tower, on their way to the capital)

An hour later, though, and that tightness had turned to chest pain. Rapunzel started coughing here and there, though she did her best to hide it. Still, it wasn’t too long before Isaac pulled back alongside her. “Are you alright?”

Rapunzel faked a smile. “Yeah, I’ll be…” She coughed into her fist, then continued. “I’ll be fine.”

Isaac gave her a worried look. “Are you sure? We can stop and take a break, if you need us to.”

Rapunzel paused, then glanced down the road. “How far to the next town?”

Isaac looked over to Phillip, who replied, “It’s about a half hour. Maybe forty-five minutes.”

“I should be good until then.” Rapunzel started hacking again, then smiled weakly at Isaac. “But maybe once we get there, we should stop and rest for a while.”

“Alright.” There was clear doubt in Isaac’s eyes, but he didn’t press the issue, and pulled ahead again.

Now that he wasn’t watching for a moment, Rapunzel grimaced and clutched at her chest. “Thirty minutes, I only have to last thirty minutes.”

Her vision started to go white, but Rapunzel was so focused on staying conscious she didn’t notice. Then something hard crashed into her right side, and it took Rapunzel a moment to realize she’d fallen off her horse. The last thing she saw was Isaac jumping off his horse and running toward her, and then everything went black.

When she woke up, Rapunzel wasn’t sure where she was or what was happening. After a moment, however, she vaguely remembered falling off her horse; this must be an inn room somewhere. She sat up and looked around.

Isaac sat in a far corner of the room. He looked sullen, and bags had started to form under his eyes.

Rapunzel bit her lip. She was almost afraid to call out to him. “H-hey.”

Isaac’s eyes snapped to hers, and first shock, and then relief washed over his face. Then his expression hardened, and he glared at her; really glared, not the exasperated kind he’d given her during their banter while she was in the Tower. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Rapunzel wasn’t sure what to say. “I… I guess I didn’t want to worry you.”

There was a beat where he didn’t respond. Then he threw up his hands and said sarcastically, “Well, that worked wonderfully!” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I even asked you about it. You said you were fine.”

“I know. I know, it’s just… I wanted to prove I could do it, you know? Even without Gothel’s magic keeping me ‘healthy’.”

Isaac gestured to her and the bed. “Well, apparently, you can’t.”

Rapunzel flinched and shrank into herself. She wanted to argue, but what could she say? Here she was. He was right.

Isaac saw the expression on her face, and his own softened. “I’m sorry. That’s not… It’s not what I meant.”

“But it’s the truth.” Rapunzel couldn’t quite keep the pout out of her voice.

Isaac scowled. He took a deep breath. “So what do you want to do? If you do still want to keep pushing forward, we’ll need to come up with a plan to make sure you’re not pushing yourself too hard. But if you want to stay and wait here, that works, too.”

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